Help me:$

[Annaa]

Hi my friends.Now I`m going in High School and I want to make a good impression to my new English teacher .When I will start the school the teacher will say to us to write an essay ''How did u spend ur summer holiday ?'',and I wrote an essay so plz tell me my mistakes and what to add on it or how to make it more intresting .I know that a lot of things are missing on it Help me plz .



Summer Holiday

This summer I had the most interesting holiday in my life because I never had such a great time and I never had so much fun with my friends.
The beginning of my holiday I spent in my native city Gjilani,which is a very beautiful city but a very small one.
Like every summer also this summer I visited the swimming pools,where I had a great time with my friends.
Sometimes we also had fun with scooters(I love them).
Later some weeks I visited some of Kosova`s cities where I had a great time with my family.
In my free time I listened music,watched Tv,went go out with friends,also I chatted with friends from all over the world cuz with them I practise my English.
I love reading a lot,and I read some good books,but the book that I like more is ''Hamlet'' written my great writer Shakespeare.
''Hamlet'' was written between 1599 and 1601.The protagonist of ''Hamlet'' is Prince Hamlet of Denmark,son of the recently deceased King Hamlet and nephew of King Claudius,his father`s brother and successor.''Hamlet'' is Shakepseare`s longest play and among the most powerful and influental tragedios in the English language.
Also in summer I had my birthday,where I had a great time.
This summer was also more special cuz I finished primary school and I missed my old friends.But I hope that I will like my new school and my new friends.


Thanks

[denvinbo]

Hi my friends.Now I`m going in High School and I want to make a good impression to my new English teacher .When I will start the school the teacher will say to us to write an essay ''How did u spend ur summer holiday ?'',and I wrote an essay so plz tell me my mistakes and what to add on it or how to make it more intresting .I know that a lot of things are missing on it Help me plz .



Summer Holiday

This summer I had the most interesting and fantastic holiday in my life because I never had such a great (wonderful) time and I never had so much fun with my friends.
The beginning of my holiday I spent in my native city Gjilani,which is a very beautiful city but a very small one.
Like every summer also this summer I visited the swimming pools,where I had a great time (enjoyed) with my friends.
Sometimes we also had fun with scooters(I love them).
Later some weeks I visited some of Kosova`s cities where I had a great time with my family.
In my free time I listened to music,watched Tv,went out with friends,I also chatted with friends from all over the world to practise my English.
I love reading a lot (very much), and I read some good (great) books,but the book that I like most is ''Hamlet'' written by great writer, Shakespeare.
''Hamlet'' was written between 1599 and 1601.The protagonist of ''Hamlet'' is Prince Hamlet of Denmark,son of the recently deceased King Hamlet and nephew of King Claudius,his father`s brother and successor.''Hamlet'' is Shakepseare`s longest play and among the most powerful and influental tragedios in the English language.
Also in summer I had my birthday, where I had a great time (I never forget that time).
This summer was also more special cuz I finished primary school and I missed my old friends.But I hope that I will like my new school and my new friends.


Thanks

This is my thinking..........

[Annaa]

Hi my friends.Now I`m going in High School and I want to make a good impression to my new English teacher .When I will start the school the teacher will say to us to write an essay ''How did u spend ur summer holiday ?'',and I wrote an essay so plz tell me my mistakes and what to add on it or how to make it more intresting .I know that a lot of things are missing on it Help me plz .



Summer Holiday

This summer I had the most interesting and fantastic holiday in my life because I never had such a great (wonderful) time and I never had so much fun with my friends.
The beginning of my holiday I spent in my native city Gjilani,which is a very beautiful city but a very small one.
Like every summer also this summer I visited the swimming pools,where I had a great time (enjoyed) with my friends.
Sometimes we also had fun with scooters(I love them).
Later some weeks I visited some of Kosova`s cities where I had a great time with my family.
In my free time I listened to music,watched Tv,went out with friends,I also chatted with friends from all over the world to practise my English.
I love reading a lot (very much), and I read some good (great) books,but the book that I like most is ''Hamlet'' written by great writer, Shakespeare.
''Hamlet'' was written between 1599 and 1601.The protagonist of ''Hamlet'' is Prince Hamlet of Denmark,son of the recently deceased King Hamlet and nephew of King Claudius,his father`s brother and successor.''Hamlet'' is Shakepseare`s longest play and among the most powerful and influental tragedios in the English language.
Also in summer I had my birthday, where I had a great time (I never forget that time).
This summer was also more special cuz I finished primary school and I missed my old friends.But I hope that I will like my new school and my new friends.


Thanks

This is my thinking..........

Thnx Denvinbo.Can u tell me what to add on it to make more interesting ?

[denvinbo]

You can add some exclamative words to make it more lively........

For example: Well,......; Actually.......;...........(many)

And write your true thinking, your love about your summer holiday....

[sweets]

hi
in general u have a good essay but u need some correction

for example,(The beginning of my holiday ) ommit the and put at



(Later some weeks) use only later

and try to improve the end

that's all

see u

[Annaa]

Thnx,but I don`t know how to make a good end,and still a lot of things are missing on it but I don`t know which things .

[CindyH]

hey Annaa visit http://custompaperpoint.com/ they've really helped me out through alot of troubling times.

[buttonwillow]

Annaa, please say you have corrected the spelling. Never use "cuz" for "because". This is a lazy and overly casual way of speaking. You never use it in writing.

I think your ending was fine.

[Tukanja]

Hopefully this will not be taken wrong. So as to practise my English let me try out!

This summer I’ve got the most interesting summer holiday in my life, for having such not only funny but great time, together with some of all of my friends.
It began in my native city Gnjilane which is small and very beautiful one.
As every summer I visited the swimming pools as well, enjoying the time with the friends but also using scooters from time to time when being off the pools.
By the way I want to tell you that I like the scooters very much for they deliver both fresh air for my lungs and cold wind all over my body but in the warm days!
Later on and in a few weeks time I visited several Kosovo and Metohija’s towns together with my family. In my free time I listened to music, watched TV programs and was asked and going out with my friends from there as well.
Using both things my laptop and the net, I also chatted to guys from all over the world so as not to miss my practicing the English language.
By reason of being in love to reading books I read some of them too but want to say that I prefer literature written by Shakespeare which is my favorite writer, of course. I like to distinguish his very well known tragedy, Hamlet, which was written between 1599 and 1601. The protagonist of Hamlet is Prince Hamlet of Denmark, son of the recently deceased King Hamlet and a nephew of the King Claudius, his father’s brother and successor. The “Hamlet” is Shakespeare’s the longest play and for sure keeps its place between the most powerful and influential tragedies that has been written in the English language ever.

Hey, I’ve just recalled that I celebrated my birthday during the holiday as well.

Finally I must say that this summer is pretty especial one for I finished the primary school this year. Now I miss all my old friends from there but I am hoping I will fall in love with my new school and get to like all my new friends which I am going to meet.