Could someone proof read my online dating profile pls

[Aikuzo]

Headline: Would you really date a guy with a picture like this?
Body:
Hello girl! Yes, I know you are going to skip this first line and go look at my photos right away. It's OK, I don't mind. After all, I'm going to do the same thing with yours anyways... if I haven't already! ;)

You're back? Good, I didn't scare you away after all. Well, since you aren't phased by my Adonis-like look, I sould probably tell you other wonderful things about myself!

Welll I'm the type of person who always seek to have fun in life while trying to pursue my goals. Though I'm working part time at Walmart Electronics, the job give me the opportunity to learn about electronics as much as I could, this saves my 68yr old father to find somebody who can fix the cables and appliances in our house since I can pretty much handle from Home Theater System to TV to Computer.

I've been working on my writing skills for the preparation of me taking up a lesson to become a successful internet marketer to help financially help my parents.

Offcouse it is not all about money, in the future I want to have enough money just to travel across the world, specially in europe and my dream country japan, make troubles all over the place ;) meet people then and there, well basically to see the world that I've never bee, to see new things and new people!

I dont travel much right now but I can still clearly remember the time when our family traveled in New York w/c is my first time being there, it still makes me smile thinking the time I got lost at night in Times Square looking for a souvenir for the girl I really like at the time.

As for my childhood, back when I was in the philipines I'm not much into academics at the time. I cause trouble and always try to find something better to do when I'm bored. I used to play games alot... though I don't want to go back on that anymore, one of my best moment is when I remember me and my friends are laughing, throwing pillows to each other while trying to find out who's the best player among us in any VS. type games. It's just the best when your having the most fun w/ your closest friend, it feels as if the time had stopped.

As for the type of person I am? I want it when I'm just being me and you being you and see where it would take us, no pressure.

[Tom]

Headline: Would you really date a guy with a picture like this?
Body:
Hello! Yes, I know you are going to skip this first line and go look at my photos right away. It's OK, I don't mind. After all, I'm going to do the same thing with yours anyways... if I haven't already! ;)

You're back? Good, I didn't scare you away after all. Well, since you aren't phased by my Adonis-like look, I should probably tell you other wonderful things about myself!

Well I'm the type of person who will always seek to have fun in life while trying to pursue my goals. Though I'm working part time at Walmart Electronics, the job gives me the opportunity to learn about electronics as much as I can. This saves my 68yr old father from finding somebody who can fix the cables and appliances in our house since I can pretty much handle anything from Home Theater Systems to TVs to Computers.

I've been working on my writing skills to prepare for taking lessons on becoming a successful internet marketer to help my parents financially.

Of course it is not all about money, in the future I want to have enough money just to travel across the world, especially in Europe and my dream country Japan, have fun? all over the place ;) meet people then and there - well basically to see the world that I've never been, to see new things and new people!

I don't travel much right now but I can still clearly remember the time when our family traveled in New York which was my first time being there. It still makes me smile thinking about the time I got lost at night in Times Square looking for a souvenir for the girl I really liked at the time.

As for my childhood, back when I was in the Philippines, I wasn't much into academics. I caused trouble and always tried to find something better to do when I was bored. I used to play games a lot... though I don't want to go back to that anymore, one of my best moment is when I remember my friends and I laughing, throwing pillows to each other while trying to find out who's the best player among us in any VS. type games. It's just the best when your having the most fun w/ your closest friend, it feels as if the time had stopped.

As for the type of person I am? I like ?it when I'm just being me and you being you and see where it would take us, no pressure.

[Tom]

Keep an eye on your verb tenses and run-on sentences.

[Aikuzo]

This is the 'Remake of the profile I just made on MySpace Tom, I really appreciate you helping me but could you fix my grammar, punctuation, make it neat and talk in a proffesional way etc. again pls...

I'm trying to talk to make it neat and most importantly... talk in an EMOTIONAL way to stir the interest of any reader especially... women! xDDDD

Here you go, thanks in advance.

------------------

My BIGGEST dream is to traveling across the world in the coming future, specially to my dream country and the MOST romantic place in the world... JAPAN! Japanese language is JUST so cool, I don't know what they say but I sure always LOVE their refreshing accents. I always want to witness their humble tradition and culture in my own eyes, to taste those SO popular ramen that everyone seems so crazy over, those insane print clubs(purikura xD) that everyone does all the hamming & CRAZY poses on the camera, AND offcourse ALL those vibrant women on kimonos... Ahh! Yeah babyyyy I'm IN LOVE... in JAPAN xD!. Well for me travel is like a romance and adventure rolled into one. There is something breathtaking about stepping onto a plane in a modern city of skyscrapers and freeways and stepping off mere hours later into a city of ancient cathedrals, narrow cobblestone roads, steamy crowded markets and tiny theaters. While I love a white sandy beach at an all-inclusive resort, the real adventure for me is exploring places that your average tourist passes up.

Well I'm a selfish prick, A hot, pampered intellectual w/ a big dick and a witty tongue. I'm young enough to do it often and old enough to do it right. I don't have time for petty drama or emotional hysterics. I do what I want, when I want.

I've build a lifestyle that allows me to experience some fantastic things. I've also been blessed to have had some great people in my life. If we compliment each other well, the possibilities are endless. This has been a fantastic year of self realization and growth.

I love Las Pinas but do miss my friends back in the Philippines... hanging out in my best friend's back yard, throwing pillows at each other after tournaments of x-men games, listening to music, and talking about where we wanted our lives to take us... We hang out as 4 groups and we are inseparable --- there's a time where our teacher make the class group together to perform in stage on Christmas. We wrote our songs at my apartment(I'm the vocalist), I was so scared ~ back then since at that time I was very shy guy and NEVER perform in front of a crowd before w/ any activity but I still persist to join in since I'm together w/ my friend supporting me (and I like the part of the song where I bust the ball of my friend of having his mustache grow too much.)

I remember stepping off the plane in New York and into the crazy pink and blue neon lights of Times Square reflecting off crowded rainy streets... and the exciting noises of the crowd everywhere. But what drive me crazy is trying to figure out a way to "sneak out" at night (I promise the girl I like back then I was going to buy her a really cool present) because I'm expecting my parents not to let me go outside since Times Square big enough people will tend to get lost BUT I can't afford NOT to buy one for her even if it means sneaking out the 50th floor hotel window using curtain as a rope to go to the hallway floor below. Fortunately I've been allowed to go out, I started the search right away for the princess, get bumped by the crowds then and there. Even though I'm w/ my sister, I almost still got lost because I keep running in every store I see. In the end I saw a gazillion souvenirs that I like and the next thing I know... I ended up buying souvenirs for the rest of my friends. xD