Help for an "odd" phrase
Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2010 10:30 am
Hello all,
I am NOT a native English speaker. I learned and speak English from very long time.
I write lyrics for songs which some times I try to make a kind of poetic. Here I have
a question about one phrase which I can't feel the best way to put it in. I've imagined
two versions of it:
1. You and I know that perfect is no one.
2. You and I know that no perfect one exists.
I know that the first reaction will be to suggest "You and I know that no one is perfect".
But for purposes of matching phonetic accents with music accents, it doesn't
fit with the music. So, musically seen, I prefer to have it in the first way.
Also, I need the phrase "You and I know that..." to stay intact.
A native English speaking friend of mine says the first one is too old fashioned.
To cross opinions, I need more advices, that's why I came in this forum.
My question is, could I keep the first version as a "poetic" phrase, even if old fashioned?
Or, if it sounds too odd, does the second version sound well then?
Thanks for your feedback.
Best vibes.
BD
I am NOT a native English speaker. I learned and speak English from very long time.
I write lyrics for songs which some times I try to make a kind of poetic. Here I have
a question about one phrase which I can't feel the best way to put it in. I've imagined
two versions of it:
1. You and I know that perfect is no one.
2. You and I know that no perfect one exists.
I know that the first reaction will be to suggest "You and I know that no one is perfect".
But for purposes of matching phonetic accents with music accents, it doesn't
fit with the music. So, musically seen, I prefer to have it in the first way.
Also, I need the phrase "You and I know that..." to stay intact.
A native English speaking friend of mine says the first one is too old fashioned.
To cross opinions, I need more advices, that's why I came in this forum.
My question is, could I keep the first version as a "poetic" phrase, even if old fashioned?
Or, if it sounds too odd, does the second version sound well then?
Thanks for your feedback.
Best vibes.
BD