Sentence structure

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lagoon
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Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Aug 08, 2015 7:53 pm
Status: Learner of English
Location: Indonesia

Sentence structure

Post by lagoon »

Hello,
I'm starting to write a song for own purpose. Please correct my sentence structure. I'm not sure if it's right or not, since English isn't the main language in my country.

"There's something about you I can't pretend
Makes me want you so bad more than just be friends
Tell me what do I say just to make you stay"

I'm not sure about the bold ones or maybe the whole sentece.
Thanks in advance.
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Joe
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Posts: 1789
Joined: Thu Dec 18, 2003 6:56 am
Status: Teacher of English
Location: England

Re: Sentence structure

Post by Joe »

Try this...

There's something about you I can't pretend
Makes me want you so bad more than just friends
Tell me what do I say just to make you stay

You could also try...

Tell me what can I say to just make you stay

or...

There's something about you I just can't pretend
Makes me want you so bad more than just friends
Tell me what can I say to just make you stay :roll:
"We are not wholly bad or good, who live our lives under Milk Wood :-| " — Dylan Thomas, Under Milk Wood

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