check my sentence is right or wrong

[korishivu]

One day, I was coming from the office, I was walking on the street slowly. The street was full of vehicles and people. People were looking sad and tired. I was looking tired.

[knowable]

In the first sentence you could use ‘and’ so as to avoid repetition of ‘I’.

E.g.,
One day I came from the office and, slowly, walked down the street. There were lot of cars and people. Everyone looked sad and tired. I was feeling tired myself.

Or,

Coming from the office one day, I walked slowly down the street. There were lot of pedestrians and traffic was heavy. People looked sad and tired and I have to say I was feeling the same.

If you would like to learn more on how to arrange words to form a good sentence follow this link:
http://findingsynonyms.blogspot.com/201 ... yntax.html

[abuwasfa]

i hope this will never happen in reality