Does this paragraph seem correct from a grammar standpoint? Is the message clear?

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Vladlena
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Joined: Fri Jun 28, 2019 8:54 pm
Status: Learner of English

Does this paragraph seem correct from a grammar standpoint? Is the message clear?

Post by Vladlena » Fri Jun 28, 2019 9:17 pm

Hi {-;
We're going to merry at the beginning of August. Our intention is to stop guests from spending large amounts of money for flowers. It would be much better to transfer these amounts to a charity fund. That's why all invitations will be followed by a small card with instructions and explanations. Can you please help me to validate the text below? I want to make sure there is no grammar mistakes and our message can be easily understood by everyone :ok:

Thank you in advance!
Let’s make our world a better place.
We'd appreciate it if you transfer money which was supposed to be spent for flowers to the following bank card: xxxx-xxxx-xxxx-xxxx.
All incomings are to be donated to the charity fund "Starenki".

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Joe
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Re: Does this paragraph seem correct from a grammar standpoint? Is the message clear?

Post by Joe » Sun Jun 30, 2019 6:23 am

Let’s make our world a better place.
We'd appreciate it if you transferred money that you might have spent on flowers to the following bank card: xxxx-xxxx-xxxx-xxxx
All donations will go to the charity fund "Starenki".
"We are not wholly bad or good, who live our lives under Milk Wood :-| " — Dylan Thomas, Under Milk Wood

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Vladlena
Member
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri Jun 28, 2019 8:54 pm
Status: Learner of English

Re: Does this paragraph seem correct from a grammar standpoint? Is the message clear?

Post by Vladlena » Mon Jul 01, 2019 12:39 pm

Joe wrote:
Sun Jun 30, 2019 6:23 am
Let’s make our world a better place.
We'd appreciate it if you transferred money that you might have spent on flowers to the following bank card: xxxx-xxxx-xxxx-xxxx
All donations will go to the charity fund "Starenki".
Simple & elegant. Thanks a lot!

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