REASONS WHY ALCOHOL SHOULD BE SERVED AT WORK...
* It's an incentive to show up.
* It reduces stress.
* Sitting on the copy machine will no longer be seen as "gross."
* It leads to more honest communications.
* It reduces complaints about low pay.
* It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.
* Employees tell management what they think, not what management
* It helps save on heating costs in the winter.
* It encourages carpooling.
* Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't
* It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
* It makes fellow employees look better.
* It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
* Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
* Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
* Suddenly, burping during a meeting isn't so embarrassing.
* Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the
* It makes everyone more open with their ideas.
* Everyone agrees the work is better after they've had a couple of
* Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch
* Increases the chance of seeing your boss naked. (?)
* It promotes foreign relations with the former Soviet Union.
* The janitor's closet will finally have a use.
* Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.
* Babbling and mumbling incoherently will be common language.