Oh len, do you realize me? Thanks for your advice, which is really useful to me. It seems that you undestood me already, a lot. If we hadn't confided so much as in the past time, i am sure you couldn't understand my thoughts like that. I also think my sickness is the result of thinking so much, with anxiety, sadness and lack of confidence. I see what you want me to do and i will. And after all, i want to tell that you are very kind to me and that i will always remember that.
Write to you later
I knew it was you, but my advice wasn't based on what I knew about you, it was based on what you wrote in your previous post, which you said you felt sad, hopeless, lonely, disappointed, and didn't know how to release your mind. You might be surprised to know that I used to be like that. My personality has changed a lot during stages of my life. When I was in elementary school, I used to be a hyper, positive, energetic, lively, self-absorbed kid. When I was with my friends or people I knew, I always wanted to be the center of attention and I always got what I wanted. Then I changed to a rebel kid when I was in middle school; I becamse a bad kid in school, a black sheep at home, and a hardcore to my friends. I loved to be like that and I thought I would not change myself forever; and my family began to turn their backs away from me because of the way I acted. From that point on I started to realize that my family was everything to me than how cool I could have become. Furthermore, I tried to change myself; however, I had done more harms to them to give them enough time to forgive me. They excluded me out when it came to family gathering, activities, and so on. It made me feel so lonely and I was being negative of my personality. I hated myself because I was thinking if my own family didn't like me, other people would not. Then I came to the wish I could turn back time--every day I was overwhelmed with the pressure of how I could turn back time to redo whatever I had done. It was my only solution to my problem. I became a quiet, bitter, depressed person. Several years in high school of mine were hard for me to get through. Fortunately, I had a good counselor who was there for me. He taught me how to win back my family by doing good in school and being a good kid. Before I was doing all that, he told me to stop blaming myself and stop finding the way to do the impossible thing while there were many possible things I could do in front of my eyes. Thereafter, I learned to love myself that I could change for people I cared and loved enough. Instead of wasting my time to worrying about what they thought how horrible I was, I wanted to show them how energetic, lively, cheerful, spirited I could be when I was with them. Slowly, I regained their trust. As a result, my family took me back.
Now I take whatever happens in my life with an appreciation. I've gone through bad and good times; I've met people with different situations, including mine. Thus, I don't wanna waste my time on being sad or depressed. I hope you would, too since you're my friend and I want the best to happen to you.