how to estimate who is your perfect half??

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takeshi
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how to estimate who is your perfect half??

Postby takeshi » Mon Jan 09, 2006 5:36 am

i have a boyfriend--not handsome who is the same age of mine,and he earns fewer money than i ,which caused by his lower rank of certificate of university.
my parents think he won't be my future husband by the gap we had in financial condition.they want to find a guy who is several years older than me,then the guy will take good care of me in the future life.
and the friend surrounded me have the same opinions.they thought i deserve a better guy.
but we get together for 3-4 years till now from my college.i found very comfortable when i be with him.he will make me laught by his stupic jokes.i like him just as he becomes my intimate family member.i don't think that is love now.and i think i will dump him while i find a better guy.
although i think that is very cruel and indifferent,i can not give my rest life to this man who lacks of sense of security.
but compare love with "bread",which is more important??and how to estimate who is your perfect half??
need your advice !! :cry:

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Shazzam
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Postby Shazzam » Mon Jan 09, 2006 7:55 am

I realise the culture in your country is very different from mine.

I personally feel no matter what country you live in, or what your family and friends say, you need to follow your heart.

It sounds to me like you are talking yourself out of loving this guy! :roll: Why :?: Because of money :?:

:idea: When you die they don't put what money you have in a coffin with you. Unless you are an Egyptian Pharoh. :roll:

The other thing is where are the shops in heaven? I don't know if they have any?

You have to consider what is important while you are alive. Take it from me love is on the top of my list. Finding your soul mate only happens once, so add it up! :wink:

SleepyTear
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Postby SleepyTear » Tue Jan 10, 2006 9:07 am

:!: First I should say I am a Chinese,too :!:
:!: Second I find the kind of lady like you :arrow: disgusting...

I am just seeking for a girl who is unlike you :idea:

Maybe I am insane :idea: Everyone loves money more than love here :!: Go damn!!!

takeshi
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Postby takeshi » Tue Jan 10, 2006 12:35 pm

i think most of people who watched the text consider me as a money mind girl.and i do have the same feeling,too.
but i do want to express the situation between my bf and me.
firstly,i don't mind his salary is lower than mine.what i consider is his career prospect.i can predict the obstales during our marriage for we encounter different people through our job.then our will have different outlooks of life which make us not keep the same pace to develop.
and my bf is the same age of mine.it is said that boy's thought is less mature than girl's while they are at the same age.and i found such kind of thing true.
anyway,i cannot tell the specific situation between he and me.and i do agree that love can beat everything.

cloudbed
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Postby cloudbed » Tue Jan 10, 2006 7:36 pm

it is easy to love someone ,but marrying is another thing.
i wish i sleep on my bed,i wish i lay on the cloudbed,i wish i have nothing to think about,i wish...

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quicksilver
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Postby quicksilver » Wed Jan 11, 2006 8:15 am

Actually, i dont understand much your case.And i have some questions for you: Is he just your friend or more than a friend?Do you have a special affection with him? And what about him? Does he love you ?
we get together for 3-4 years till now from my college.i found very comfortable when i be with him.he will make me laught by his stupic jokes.i like him just as he becomes my intimate family member.

I have to tell you that isnt love, just friend.You yourself already found that.But i have to question you: did their opinion affect your decision, your thought?
i don't think that is love now
That means you used to think it is love?And he did , too?I find that your attitude was not clear.I think firslty you should ask yourself bout your sentiment with him: Dont you really love him , or just friend? You have to answer honestly.Then tell him about your thought.Dont let money affect your love.

SleepyTear wrote

Second I find the kind of lady like you disgusting

I think you are judging her so quickly!She has friends, family...and she cant ignore their advices.

takeshi wrote
it is said that boy's thought is less mature than girl's while they are at the same age.and i found such kind of thing true

Yeah, most of cases are true but not all the cases, there're many ppl are much more mature than their ages and others dont.It depends on his own situation.

Shazzam
Take it from me love is on the top of my list
Maybe Shazzam is right cos she herself had experience.
To me: money , career are both important .But think twice, you can love anyone without any reason , just cos of your heart , your feeling.And do as it tells.

To this prb , i think each ppl has their own idea, and as i remember that we discussed bout this.Admiral is also from China and let see his thought bout this.His thought is very different from SleepyTear. They are your different characters, i have no idea.

takeshi
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Postby takeshi » Thu Jan 12, 2006 3:21 am

i fell in love with him,but it is 2-3years ago.now i think we keep an intimate relationship between each other.the closer we get,the less spark we have.
we exprienced something together.i think i will miss the scene of the street we walked together when we seperate.not to mention other memory we share.i precious the days during i be with him.
however,i found the surrounding of us changed,and we have different exprience now.we have different opinions on certain things.although we still fall,but no more spark like a quiet surface of the lake.

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quicksilver
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Postby quicksilver » Thu Jan 12, 2006 7:46 am

takeshi wrote:i think i will miss the scene of the street we walked together when we seperate.not to mention other memory we share.i precious the days during i be with him.

Your memories are so sweet!That means you used to love him so much .But now as you said , everything has changed.You dont love him anymore cos of your differrent opinions.As you said , you separated from your boyfriend? Everything ended!!!!!!!
So what is your problem here?

SleepyTear
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Postby SleepyTear » Thu Jan 12, 2006 10:19 am

I think you are judging her so quickly!She has friends, family...and she cant ignore their advices.


Maybe I am an extreme creature, but I have to say I find most of us Chinese disgusting. People are economically-minded. But I am different! I follow my heart!

it is said that boy's thought is less mature than girl's while they are at the same age.and i found such kind of thing true


To your disappointment! I am seventeen. How about you!?

And as another case, I think that human beings are fickle. It's natural and unchangeable.

Marriage is really different from falling love. So I am planning to stay single but still write love letters to girls in my class :shock:

takeshi
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Postby takeshi » Fri Jan 13, 2006 4:21 am

quicksilver wrote:
takeshi wrote:i think i will miss the scene of the street we walked together when we seperate.not to mention other memory we share.i precious the days during i be with him.

As you said , you separated from your boyfriend? Everything ended!!!!!!!
So what is your problem here?


i haven't split up with him now.we are still together

takeshi
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Postby takeshi » Fri Jan 13, 2006 4:25 am


Marriage is really different from falling love. So I am planning to stay single but still write love letters to girls in my class :shock:


what a innocent thought of teenager~
as you grow up,you will change.

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quicksilver
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Postby quicksilver » Fri Jan 13, 2006 7:24 am

SleepyTear wrote
I have to say I find most of us Chinese disgusting. People are economically-minded

It is not only happens in China. :?
Marriage is really different from falling love. So I am planning to stay single but still write love letters to girls in my class

:shock: :shock: :shock: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Flirt with girls and still stay single?
Are you plan to be girl-killers? :lol:
takesi wrote
what a innocent thought of teenager~
as you grow up,you will change.

I hope he won't change .Anyway , i still dont know clealry your thought.

tikay
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Postby tikay » Sat Jan 28, 2006 6:53 pm

This is just my take on things but it seems to me that there is a whole lot more going on than security in the future. If the person who is asking the question expects to make a life that gradually gets more and more prosperous (in every way) than it is now..and the bf is saying he does not have the same needs and goals that is not only about money it is about the quality one wants for thier life...the comfort one needs from the life.

Not just to be comfortable with the same old thing (status quo) is a good thing because that is how we change the world. the focus of so many people on money (just for them-selves, not with dreams of the way it can save the world) is disgusting to me too! BUT ...If a person wants to break up with their partner because they are no longer satisfying their emotional needs in various ways that is a good reason... and if he makes her feel insecure about the future with no reassurances that they will have a decent life...that is not good.
Honey, just be sure that it is you he is not satisfying and do not let others talk you out of loving someone.
The road of love is rocky and serene...both...it is no playground all of the time and it is not for the weak.
Be strong and realise that you may have to look closer at your feelings, about your relationship. deciding if you felt insecure before others worried you about your lover.
anyway...I had to say something. For me LOVE...Love is VERY important...money not too very...if you just want a nice simple life.
YET...If your needs run more into power and influence, you must decide...that takes some money. Both things are good. What is a world without it's leaders?
Maybe you two have a different destiny and maybe you have the same one, the beauty part is you have the power to decide, (but you must live with and accept your decision) and move into your future without a fear.
:)

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moneymind
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Re: how to estimate who is your perfect half??

Postby moneymind » Wed Feb 01, 2006 4:31 pm

takeshi wrote:i have a boyfriend--not handsome who is the same age of mine,and he earns fewer money than i ,which caused by his lower rank of certificate of university.
my parents think he won't be my future husband by the gap we had in financial condition.they want to find a guy who is several years older than me,then the guy will take good care of me in the future life.
and the friend surrounded me have the same opinions.they thought i deserve a better guy.
but we get together for 3-4 years till now from my college.i found very comfortable when i be with him.he will make me laught by his stupic jokes.i like him just as he becomes my intimate family member.i don't think that is love now.and i think i will dump him while i find a better guy.
although i think that is very cruel and indifferent,i can not give my rest life to this man who lacks of sense of security.
but compare love with "bread",which is more important??and how to estimate who is your perfect half??
need your advice !! :cry:

Your parents have their point to advise you that. It is normal thinking of Asian people, especially generation like your parents and mine. I totally agree with Cloudbed that loving & getting married are two different things. It depend very much on what are your needs? If the answer is "dozen of bread", then let go to find bread. If you think a normal life is your need, then let to calculate how two of you can "put bread together" to survive. Just one thing I want to say, the richer is not always the happier.

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Amelia66me
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Postby Amelia66me » Sun Feb 05, 2006 9:43 am

To SleepTear:
I think you are indeed going to the extreme. Who gave you the stupid idea that "most of us Chinese disgusting"? When it comes to marriage, everyone, no matter in which contry, speak which language, has what kind of culture will consider his or her patener from all aspects. That is the way we will have a better and happy life in the future. How comes you say it as "CHINESE IS DISGUSTING"? Let me ask you if it's not offensive, would you marry a beggar if you are saying you, yourself is not the so-called economically-minded person, without considering what suggested by your friends and families? If your answer is no, then would you call yourself disgusting; if yes, you are indeed insane, and I don't believe this answer at all.
Clearly, she is not money pursuer. If she were, why she loved him before. Her bf earned less than she did from the very beginning. She could just find some rich guys without following her own heart. It's just after a long time, the feeling has gone. What is your priciple judging people? From what you posted here, I found you are not mature enough now. Try to learn not judging others too quick, and be respectful to others. Thank you.

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Amelia66me
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Postby Amelia66me » Sun Feb 05, 2006 10:07 am

Takeshi, I can understand how you feel now. It's like you are not sure if he is the right person in your life. On one hand, you cannot get rid of him, because you still keep the sweet memeries you had before, which means you may still love him. At least, you enjoy the time you were together. On the other hand, you think you don't love him now, because there is no sparkles. Well, I am just telling you that when you fall love with sb at the very beginning, you will have lots of sparkles indeed. You cannot think of a life without him. However, with time flying, feeling is changing. There will be no secret between you when you know each others more. Consequencely, the sparkles will be less and less. I have learned that love will become the normal feeling as family members as it develops, like our parents. When they were seeing each others, they went to moives, went out for walking etc. but now, they are just making money, raising children, cooking... no sparkle any more, but I will say they still love each other, because they decide to be together and will be like this forever, till the end of their life. That's love! True love.
Here, I am saying that what really matters is whether you have same topic when you are together? if you are happy with him? ask yourself would you spend the rest of your life with this guy? do you trust him? You will know what you should do then.


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