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a letter

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Posts: 175
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Location: Poland

a letter

Postby hereiam » Tue Feb 07, 2006 10:59 am

Yesterday I wrote a letter. I opened a letter to read something in English and I opened one US forum where I found such a letter. People tried to help this girl. They were writing "get a job and move out, get out like your mother".
But tell me why this guy is such a bully for all his family???
Hard to explain it:(
Can he be a normal teacher having proper social contacts with his students??? I am just wondering:(
I posted my story in another forum too, I need to hear your comments. I've had people reply to me saying how I must be a fantastic storyteller, but please believe me every word is true. this has all been normal for me.
I'm 20 years old. My NF is a mad control freak who married a 23 year
old prostitute when he was 38. Mum was trying to get out of
prostitution, and she stopped when they met at the Technical College.
Dad was the teacher. From the time they were married, me dad never let
my mum have any friends, he made her cut out her sister, and tried to
make her cut out her parents too. My dad has cut out his mother, his
sister and his brother.

My dad wanted to home-school us all. there are 6 kids in my family, we
have all been homeschooled.
Not by my dad, one morning when i was little he said, "I've never been
more depressed in my life, look at me, a f****** kindergarten
Well, after that moment, my dad stopped teaching us. He would instead
make us all sit around for his brainwashing sessions. He prevented me
from doing any formal schooling, I have no school leaving
certificates, and when I said i wanted to go to Uni, he whipped out
his old Uni books and invented a "BA" for me!! I finished this, (It
took 3 years!!) and then finally, i was like, "Well, I'm now going to
go the a proper University, my dad made life so miserable, and when I
failed the entry test, he emotionally savaged me so brutally about how
"F****** stupid" i was, and yet, he was secretly glad i'd failed.

He made me feel guilty for wanting to have friends, "Friends are
bull****," and he would make me cry because I was the strange,
different one in the family who "didn't understand his special powers
of healing," and I didn't believe in his weird homemade religion he
called "Universal Harmonics". I was weird when i was at home, and
weird when i wasn't at home, because all I got from other kids my own
age was how weird the home-schooled kid was. I was constantly sad
and lonely.

And yet, i completely adored my father. I made up my mind when i was
10 that when Daddy died, i would kill myself because i couldn't bear
to live without him.

My Dad would make comments like, "All you do is sit around on your fat
~ all day," when I was mowing his properties, weeding his gardens,
helping the other kids with HIS stupid homeschooling, helping him to
run his business. One week I would be a "Good Girl" another week he'd
say, "I've got a bitch daughter, just like her bitch mother." The
emotional sandwich treatment was torture.

I didn't know about mum's prostitution until i was 19. When we were
all children, my dad would say (in front of us all, mum included,) how
many 'boyfriends' she had, and that she had one particular guy, "The
Duke" he was dubbed by dad. Dad said that mum was the Duke's
mistress. I was 12 years old, and because I had lived such a secluded
life, I had no idea what he was saying.

but imagine how mum felt? degraded in front in her own children.

now years passed, and Dad says to me, "your mother is trying to make
you ugly." I what do i think? I must be ugly.
My parents are now divorced. during this very nasty time, Dad said in
front of all of us, "Make no mistakes, if we get divorced, these
children will know EXACTLY what their mother is."

I'm 20, and I've never even held hands with a boy. Yet I have to sit
and listen to my disgusing father tell us all how he's such a "very sexual and sensual being." he talks about sex in terms of
"fornication", and I have built up such a thing about that word that I
can't describe my hatred and loating of it.

He made me think that mum was a virgin when they got married, and that
I had to stay a virgin until I get married. Otherwise, I'll be a slut.

the day my mother told me that "You father was not the first person I
had sex with," I was so totally shocked and upset that I was in a
state for a couple of days. I know it sounds pathetic, but i was
brought up in a very weird, secluded way.

My father also tried to convince my mother that my brother and I were having a sexual relationship. (fyi we weren't!!!!!)

Now that my parents are divored, my dad constantly says things like,
"All you (mum) ever were was a whore and a slut," "all you ever did
was lay on you back for a living," in front of all his children.

He had no respect for privacy when we lived together. He would come
into the bathroom when I was naked in the bath, and he'd sit on the
toilet and have a s***. This was normal behavior. I had grown up
with it all my life.

He would perve on me. He would make us all strip naked so he could
fill out his "weights and height" chart.

He says that if my little sister goes with mum, "she'll turn her into
a slut." he tells mum that I deserve some inheritance because he
feels sorry for me, because "she's a big fat ugly girl, and her crutch
isn't wide enough."

My dad goes to the brothel to get "love and affection". He does this
because my mum can't give it to him. and he says to us, "You've got
to understand, I MARRIED a prostitute."

He refused to keep his personal toiletries to himself, despite the
fact that while we lived together and he was frequenting the brothel,
he was bringing home conjunctivitis and we were constantly sick with
some foreign flu. His response to mum was "Just shut up you whore.
YOU'RE the one who has infected all the children with herpes. You
picked that up at the brothel, and you've passed it on to every one of
them." incidently, this is medically not true. when I pointed
that out to Dad, he said, "You're so stupid. She must have got it from
her own mother. Three Generations of Prostitutes."

One time when i defended mum, and said that her past did not matter in
the slightest to me, he turned around and said to me, "well, if you
think it's such a ~ good idea, why don't you go try it."

Gold Member
Posts: 175
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2005 10:30 am
Location: Poland


Postby hereiam » Tue Feb 07, 2006 11:00 am

sorry - I read this letter - not wrote it - obviously:(

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Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2005 11:32 pm
Status: English Learner
Location: Switzerland

Postby shokin » Wed Feb 08, 2006 5:12 pm

Children are not there for solving parents's problems.

Be yourself, there is not ONE model to follow, there are no norms. If you believe in norms, you get prisonner of these (norms) and stereotyps. Your (Our) health is more more more more more ... more more more more more important the your (our) apparence or glory.

Making a person famous, you can put this person in danger.


Gold Member
Posts: 175
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2005 10:30 am
Location: Poland

hi shockin.

Postby hereiam » Fri Feb 10, 2006 5:46 pm

Yes - kids aren't to solve their perents mistakes but somehow it happens that these are perents who influence kids the most.
And I think the guy who marries a woman, have with her 6 kids, and talks such a ~ about a mother of his 6 kids in front of them... I think he really deserves all what will meet him. Maybe I am unjust but people too often marry without sense or then hurt other people and are so thoughtless and blind doing it, so stupid, that even after 1000 years you will not be able to understand their motives. Really. Unlike you aren't a psychoanalitic.
With this one exception perhaps:(
And believe me - I know what I say cause I know a lot of stories in my life but never anything like this one above probably. What I know are only stories about "poor" and "rich" - also "helathy" and "unhealthy" makes me feeling. Anything else:(
I don't know - maybe I am wrong but I doubt.
I know one story similiar to this but the woman was left alone and finally got drowned. 4 kids were taken by the accidental person - "a grandmother" cause their father was unable to care about them (he drank too much). It was somewhere in Poland and the woman who decided to raise these kids was about 60 then. Now she is 80 something and kids are 20something. So she is happy she coped with them all in spite of two heart strokes etc. At least they didn't have to go to orphangaes that are really nasty in my country.
PS. My question is also of different type but I think it would be better to keep it to myself:)
Never better though:)

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