One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to
hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough
for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled
look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for
you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I
went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed dept. store. I walked around with her while she tried on several
different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I
told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new
clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the
jewelry dept. where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell
you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a
shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a
tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was
almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier". I could hardly contain myself when I blurted
out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank
as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT???!!!" I then said, "Really honey! I
just want you to HOLD this stuff for awhile.. You're just not in touch with
my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as
a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I
added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.