strange sonnet

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shakespear
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strange sonnet

Post by shakespear » Sun Jul 19, 2009 7:10 am

Strange sonnet

Don't depart O dear! Days are delightful dreams.
Let's live lovely life, lick lips lustfully.
Buy beauty beside bliss, buy big bright beams.
Sing so soft songs, "Siren" start songs slightly.

* * *
You're yap yearn to yoke, years yarn the yellow
Hey hobo here! Have ye heeded hind?
Fight foes for freedom, fall down for fellow.
Can't you come closely? Can't you keep kind?

* * *
My mass's much, Magian maid made me mad.
Tiny titmouse touched torn temper timely.
Save sick single, sinking in sins, still sad.
Rude rook raped roe, rain ran round road roughly.
Can you guess my poem either good or bad?
Don't be shy please! And show your opinion frankly.
our life is like a night mare

sweets
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Re: strange sonnet

Post by sweets » Sun Jul 19, 2009 5:09 pm

so strange that i can not comment on :-?

really i have no idea or word to say
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shakespear
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Re: strange sonnet

Post by shakespear » Mon Jul 20, 2009 7:52 am

hi
thnx to be the 1st as i thought
plz say anything just comment and don`t be shy
did u discover the construction of lines that they begins with same sounds
c u
our life is like a night mare

sweets
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Re: strange sonnet

Post by sweets » Mon Jul 20, 2009 5:56 pm

i read the sonnet manytime but in vain :cry: i did not get anything

maybe i have to read it when i wakeup

cu
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shakespear
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Re: strange sonnet

Post by shakespear » Thu Jul 23, 2009 7:55 am

hello
read it plz and discover that all the lines begin with the same sounds
c u and thnx
our life is like a night mare

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Re: strange sonnet

Post by sweets » Thu Jul 23, 2009 2:58 pm

wellllllllllllllllllllll
in notice sounds but iam looking for different thing i donot know what it is :-|
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Re: strange sonnet

Post by Psixochka » Wed Jul 29, 2009 6:35 am

Hi!

This is strange poem... I didn't get it, but I noticed sounds... And I don't know what to comment on....
Maybe you hint us what your poem is about? :oops:
Scio me nihil scire. (Latin)
I know, that I know nothing. (By Socrates)

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shakespear
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Re: strange sonnet

Post by shakespear » Wed Jul 29, 2009 12:12 pm

hello
i made it trying to begin the lines with the same sound so one can see that
thnx 4 ur comments
c u and gd luck
our life is like a night mare

sweets
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Re: strange sonnet

Post by sweets » Wed Jul 29, 2009 5:14 pm

Goodevening
And fianlly i get why i didn't understand it {-:


first i miss the tone that i used to you have unique structure which i miss it this time

second you fouce on sounds it's so over react i did not enjoy with ,i belive that mession of poem is to express your ideas in a way help other to react with you .

sorry for those harsh comments but this is my feelings towards ur poem

cu
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shakespear
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Re: strange sonnet

Post by shakespear » Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:03 am

hi
don't be sorry koz its ur point of view and i respect it and i thnk u r werite koz when we focus on tone we sometimes lose the important thing i.e the idea , the spirit of the poem and the poem will be weak.
really in this poem , as u said , i wanna try something else, new and treating with sounds and tone.
thnx and i wanna u open ur inbox
c u and gd luck
our life is like a night mare

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Re: strange sonnet

Post by Vega » Fri Jul 31, 2009 6:30 pm

shakespear wrote:Fight foes for freedom, fall down for fellow.
Excellent. :-)

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shakespear
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Re: strange sonnet

Post by shakespear » Sat Aug 01, 2009 1:03 pm

hello
thnx and u r welcome my loyal fried.
good luck.
our life is like a night mare

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Re: strange sonnet

Post by farah » Sun Aug 02, 2009 8:47 am

really it is strange sonnet
difficult
see you
kisses
we have to live our life freely

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shakespear
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Re: strange sonnet

Post by shakespear » Sun Aug 02, 2009 9:51 am

thnx
u too :-D
our life is like a night mare

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Re: strange sonnet

Post by farah » Sun Aug 02, 2009 10:02 am

welcome
the poem is very good really
good luck
we have to live our life freely

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shakespear
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Re: strange sonnet

Post by shakespear » Sun Aug 02, 2009 3:04 pm

do u think so?
thnx dear friend.
gd luck
our life is like a night mare

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Re: strange sonnet

Post by farah » Sun Aug 02, 2009 3:55 pm

hi
the poem seem very difficult how u made it.
can i learn how to write poems?
thnx
we have to live our life freely

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shakespear
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Re: strange sonnet

Post by shakespear » Mon Aug 03, 2009 8:00 am

hello every body
i don't know how to make it but the words come to me when i have an idea or a certain feeling
thnx
have nice day
our life is like a night mare

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Re: strange sonnet

Post by farah » Tue Aug 04, 2009 10:10 am

hi
can u help me? if u don't like to help me so it is ok.
thanx
we have to live our life freely

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shakespear
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Re: strange sonnet

Post by shakespear » Sun Aug 09, 2009 6:40 am

hola
yes with pleasure
i'll be happy to help u
r u beautiful?
c u
our life is like a night mare

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Re: strange sonnet

Post by LEATRICE » Sat Aug 29, 2009 8:14 am

Rich "sound" content
alliterations, consonances, assonances
it's an interesting piece of poem

But the last couplet somehow destroys the continuity and congruity :-(
The fashion of the world is to avoid cost, and you encounter it.

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Re: strange sonnet

Post by shakespear » Mon Aug 31, 2009 9:12 am

hello
i think u r right but i intended to do that and i was able to do alliteration
thnx 4 this comment and really u seem expert in literature
c u and have gd luck
our life is like a night mare

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Re: strange sonnet

Post by farah » Thu Sep 10, 2009 9:28 am

Hi I aske sweet about u and her but she didn't answer me and I think u can answer me please r u in love with her.? I am sorry about this question but I want to know I am not envy her .i shall wait for the answer .bye
we have to live our life freely

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Re: strange sonnet

Post by shakespear » Thu Sep 10, 2009 9:38 am

Hi I think its not ur affair in addition I'm here to hear comment on my poem not to hear that and I wish she loves me koz she is very education and has high spirit so if she loves me I'll swim in the sea at night in the winter and account the sand of the shore and drops of rains and leaves of trees so don't ask me about that again plz …..
thnx
our life is like a night mare

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Re: strange sonnet

Post by sweets » Thu Sep 10, 2009 10:05 am

shakespear wrote:Hi I think its not ur affair in addition I'm here to hear comment on my poem not to hear that and I wish she loves me koz she is very education and has high spirit so if she loves me I'll swim in the sea at night in the winter and account the sand of the shore and drops of rains and leaves of trees so don't ask me about that again plz …..
thnx
good respons 8-)
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shakespear
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Re: strange sonnet

Post by shakespear » Thu Sep 10, 2009 10:50 am

hi sweet and thnx 4 this
c u and have nice day
our life is like a night mare

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Re: strange sonnet

Post by Player » Sat Sep 12, 2009 10:42 pm

sonnet (noun): a poem of fourteen lines using any of a number of formal rhyme schemes, in English typically having ten syllables per line

Well, it's 14 lines ok. And most have 10 syllables.

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Re: strange sonnet

Post by shakespear » Sun Sep 13, 2009 8:29 am

hello
thnx palyer 4 this msg but u did n't value my poem so plz send me ur comment about the poem
best wihes friend
our life is like a night mare

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Re: strange sonnet

Post by Player » Sun Sep 13, 2009 8:44 am

I think it's a very clever strange sonnet.

But if you intend it to be a sonnet - typically with 14 lines and typically 10 syllables per line (which seems to be what you do intend) - then I think you should try to fix the lines that don't have 10 syllables.

Just my humble opinion, since you ask me to value your sonnet :roll:

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shakespear
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Re: strange sonnet

Post by shakespear » Wed Sep 23, 2009 9:36 am

hello
its typical as u said , the poem contains 14 linesand every line has 10 syllables .it is ab ab cd cd ef ef gg so plz show me what have i to do?
really u seem very good in poetry and i like to make use of ur information.
c u bye
our life is like a night mare

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Re: strange sonnet

Post by shakespear » Sat Oct 16, 2010 6:07 pm

hello lovely friends

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shakespear
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Re: strange sonnet

Post by shakespear » Mon Feb 07, 2011 3:29 pm

hello player
really i like to contact u and know from u something about poetry so plz let's meet
thanks and have nice moments

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Re: strange sonnet

Post by shakespear » Sun Sep 11, 2011 1:53 am

hi

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Re: strange sonnet

Post by Lara » Sun Sep 11, 2011 3:12 am

it's a tongue twister :D

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shakespear
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Re: strange sonnet

Post by shakespear » Wed Sep 14, 2011 1:59 am

it has meaning beside the tongue twister...ok

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Re: strange sonnet

Post by Lara » Sat Oct 15, 2011 4:52 am

Shakes this poem i need to read it again and again to got well its meaning :-)

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Re: strange sonnet

Post by shakespear » Mon Oct 17, 2011 4:45 am

hi
its hard to be pronounced
{-:

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Re: strange sonnet

Post by shakespear » Fri Sep 15, 2017 10:01 am

shakespear wrote:Strange sonnet

Don't depart O dear! Days are delightful dreams.
Let's live lovely life, lick lips lustfully.
Buy beauty beside bliss, buy big bright beams.
Sing so soft songs, "Siren" start songs slightly.

* * *
You're yap yearn to yoke, years yarn the yellow
Hey hobo here! Have ye heeded hind?
Fight foes for freedom, fall down for fellow.
Can't you come closely? Can't you keep kind?

* * *
My mass's much, Magian maid made me mad.
Tiny titmouse touched torn temper timely.
Save sick single, sinking in sins, still sad.
Rude rook raped roe, rain ran round road roughly.
Can you guess my poem either good or bad?
Don't be shy please! And show your opinion frankly.
I THINK IT'S NOT VERY GOOD
ANY WAY, IT'S MY WORK
our life is like a night mare

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