Check the structure of paragraph

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Check the structure of paragraph

Post by Raffaello » Sun Oct 17, 2010 6:21 pm

hi everybody {-:
i a student in department of english
level 3
my teacher , asked from us to write about Habits
and i wrote this paragraph and i hope from the experts to see if they conform to the structure of paragraph :~:

Bad Habits in Children

Habits are those things that doing always by people and repeating these thnigs until become familiar for them .
and it is dividing into good habits and bad habits . from bad habits in children is fingers sucking used by some children to escape from one of the problems or to express anger or tension , this raises the concern of parents about how to get rid of that problem .
Also from bad habits biting nails and appear in children from one to two years and continue to grow up with him , is a reflection for psychological disorder has a tension and anxiety as a result for pressures at home or school , it serves as an exit for him from his feelings of guilt or fear.
So should on parents, educators re-shape the behavior of the child by developing his behavior and give it a prize of material or moral whenever reduce his bad habit .

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Re: Check the structure of paragraph

Post by saadk » Sat Oct 23, 2010 12:53 am

Hi Raffaello

I hope to find someone who help you

My english is a second language

but take my advice don't use google translate a lot

and try to make your writing simple stupid

for example
Habits are behavior that are repeated regularly and it divided into two parts which are bad and good habits. One of the bad habits is that Children suck their fingars when they become in truble >>>>> .............. . Another bad habit is that .......
parents and educators should re-shape the behavior of the children by developing their behavior and give them a prize of material or moral whenever(when) reduce their bad habit .

good luck

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Re: Check the structure of paragraph

Post by melissaf » Wed Oct 27, 2010 8:57 am

If it's just the one paragraph, you shouldn't use the "enter key". I see you have three different sections.

Also, you'll want to watch your punctuation. Don't put a space before . or , and remember to use capital letters at the start of each sentence. You have a nice topic sentence and nice concluding sentence so don't let those simple things spoil your writing.

All the best,

Last edited by Joe on Wed Oct 27, 2010 11:35 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: remove commercial link

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