My love [The Contest WINNER, April. 2011]

Add your poems, essays and short stories here. Please do not post work by other writers.

Moderator: EC

Post Reply
Shahruhash
Member
Posts: 3
Joined: Sat Apr 16, 2011 3:14 pm
Status: Learner of English

My love [The Contest WINNER, April. 2011]

Post by Shahruhash »

Its my first post in this website. I am an English learner. So forgive me for my silly mistakes.

POEM - My Love

My sweet dream came more than true
When my love i saw someone like you
Everywhere i see i feel heavenly
I am so blessed i can now see clearly
Being with you makes me complete
It seems that we are a perfect fit

I never knew what sadness was
Now i feel them when we are apart
Distance cant separate both of us
As you always mend by broken heart

created by - ME

this is a dedicated poem for my lovely wife. Pray for us both guys. Thanks
sweets
Top Contributor
Top Contributor
Posts: 1036
Joined: Sat Dec 09, 2006 10:35 pm
Status: Other
Location: some where behind the sea

Re: My love

Post by sweets »

hello and welecome here

for me I like the general idea it's so sweet and lovely to show your feelings towards who you love

but in same time you have little mistakes I'm sure that you did not note them
1- ( makes) it should be make because it comes after you

2-(them) it should be it beacause it reffers to sadness

this is what i note maybe others can find more

anyway do not give up and keep writing ok {-;
Shahruhash
Member
Posts: 3
Joined: Sat Apr 16, 2011 3:14 pm
Status: Learner of English

Re: My love

Post by Shahruhash »

Hi Sweets !

thanks for your warm welcome and your sweet teachings. I really made a silly mistake writing make as makes. I should have rechecked my slip of pen. Lolz.

keep teaching me because i really would like to learn a lot.
Thanks again
sweets
Top Contributor
Top Contributor
Posts: 1036
Joined: Sat Dec 09, 2006 10:35 pm
Status: Other
Location: some where behind the sea

Re: My love

Post by sweets »

you are welcome anytime
monaji
Rising Star
Rising Star
Posts: 69
Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2007 10:42 pm
Status: Learner of English
Location: there

Re: My love

Post by monaji »

It's very good .. before and after SWEETS Correction.
Shahruhash
Member
Posts: 3
Joined: Sat Apr 16, 2011 3:14 pm
Status: Learner of English

Re: My love

Post by Shahruhash »

Thanks monaji . Thanks very much
User avatar
manal
Rising Star
Rising Star
Posts: 110
Joined: Fri Jan 21, 2011 9:14 am
Status: Learner of English
Location: yemen,my beloved country

Re: My love

Post by manal »

a good poem and wonderful idea ....
welcome friend...waiting for more....
User avatar
Vega
Top Contributor
Top Contributor
Posts: 1532
Joined: Tue Sep 19, 2006 2:59 pm
Status: Learner of English

Re: My love [The Contest WINNER, April. 2011]

Post by Vega »

Keep up the good work! ;)
User avatar
shakespear
Top Contributor
Top Contributor
Posts: 973
Joined: Tue Jan 09, 2007 12:02 pm
Status: Teacher of English
Location: turkey

Re: My love [The Contest WINNER, April. 2011]

Post by shakespear »

hi friend
ur poem is very lovley and i think u can write more and more koz u have spring of soft words and ideas
the word (makes) is not mistake koz it came after the term (being with you) not after the word (you) only.about the the 2nd notice i think the friend sweet is right.
4give me and i hope u go ahead and write more.......
c u
Post Reply