[Poem]Romance

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PeterNovotny
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[Poem]Romance

Postby PeterNovotny » Sun Oct 09, 2011 9:28 am

If autumn has gone,I will waiting for you with the snow falling.
If the world has gone,I will standing in the paradise,praying.
If you have gone,I will cry you a river,in which I'm floating.
If I have gone,I will find someone fortunate to love you,darling.


It's quite a brief poem.My teacher ask me to translate this letters from Chinese poem into the english.The request is that it must be rhymed and correct without grammar mistakes.
It's my first works.Wish all of u enjoy this poem. :lol:

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Lara
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Re: [Poem]Romance

Postby Lara » Tue Oct 11, 2011 3:32 am

PeterNovotny wrote:If autumn has gone,I will waiting for you with the snow falling.
If the world has gone,I will standing in the paradise,praying.
If you have gone,I will cry you a river,in which I'm floating.
If I have gone,I will find someone fortunate to love you,darling.


Hello PeterNovotny...welcome to EC, it's a nice poem, do u write poems in Chinese????
I really liked ur poem, see you friend!!
:-D

PeterNovotny
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Posts: 6
Joined: Sun Oct 09, 2011 8:48 am
Status: English Learner

Re: [Poem]Romance

Postby PeterNovotny » Tue Oct 11, 2011 4:47 am

Lara wrote:
PeterNovotny wrote:If autumn has gone,I will waiting for you with the snow falling.
If the world has gone,I will standing in the paradise,praying.
If you have gone,I will cry you a river,in which I'm floating.
If I have gone,I will find someone fortunate to love you,darling.


Hello PeterNovotny...welcome to EC, it's a nice poem, do u write poems in Chinese????
I really liked ur poem, see you friend!!
:-D

THX dude..I pretty wanna u to give me some advice about it ^^

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shakespear
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Re: [Poem]Romance

Postby shakespear » Tue Oct 11, 2011 7:05 am

PeterNovotny wrote:I will waiting

PeterNovotny wrote:I will standing

PeterNovotny wrote:I will find someone fortunate to love you

hi
here we have 3 items i think they r wrong
the 1st : grammatically is wrong
the 2nd: the same
the 3rd : its not grammatical wrong but i think its phraseology is not good, the style koz i think he wants to find lover for her to care for her to treat and nurse her...how he minds just for this thing...lover must be jealous on his sweetheart not cares to find one love her..
its my point of view
thnx

PeterNovotny
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Posts: 6
Joined: Sun Oct 09, 2011 8:48 am
Status: English Learner

Re: [Poem]Romance

Postby PeterNovotny » Wed Oct 12, 2011 3:45 am

shakespear wrote:
PeterNovotny wrote:I will waiting

PeterNovotny wrote:I will standing

PeterNovotny wrote:I will find someone fortunate to love you

hi
here we have 3 items i think they r wrong
the 1st : grammatically is wrong
the 2nd: the same
the 3rd : its not grammatical wrong but i think its phraseology is not good, the style koz i think he wants to find lover for her to care for her to treat and nurse her...how he minds just for this thing...lover must be jealous on his sweetheart not cares to find one love her..
its my point of view
thnx

Uh..This poem might wanna express the grand love for this man towards that girl.So it's ok to find a lover to take care for his sweetheart instead of himself koz he just wanna her be weal till the end~:)

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shakespear
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Re: [Poem]Romance

Postby shakespear » Thu Mar 27, 2014 7:44 pm

listen friend;
i think if you said:
if I've gone you won't find a fortunate lover as me darling
our destiny's to die together or live together and sing
..... it's my opinion
have nice moments
our life is like a night mare


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