WE

Add your poems, essays and short stories here. Please do not post work by other writers.

Moderators: Vega, EC

Elisa
Gold Member
Posts: 312
Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2011 7:13 pm
Status: English Learner

WE

Postby Elisa » Tue Oct 18, 2011 6:08 pm

I met you
Your eyes,
My eyes.
Your breath,
My breath
Your smile,
My smile.

No words.

Our breath.

Elisa
Gold Member
Posts: 312
Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2011 7:13 pm
Status: English Learner

Re: WE

Postby Elisa » Tue Oct 18, 2011 6:10 pm

Please, read it very slowly. Thanks :-)

sweets
Rough Diamond Member
Posts: 1202
Joined: Sat Dec 09, 2006 10:35 pm
Status: Other
Location: some where behind the sea
Contact:

Re: WE

Postby sweets » Tue Oct 18, 2011 7:17 pm

helllllllo
inspite of writing short lines but they are carrying much powerful meanings beside your short poem force me to imagen what might happen ..............

nice try keep on

User avatar
shakespear
Platinum Member
Posts: 830
Joined: Tue Jan 09, 2007 12:02 pm
Status: English Teacher
Location: IRAQ
Contact:

Re: WE

Postby shakespear » Tue Oct 18, 2011 10:46 pm

hello
i'll say like the say of sweets its short...but rain always starts with one drop then falls heavily and may not stop for days...and volcano also starts with smoke then busrsts out and won't stop...
so i think u'll rain this club with lovely words heavily and won't stop...at least i hope that...
plz go ahead and dont stop koz ur words hold high emotions and lovely meanings inside
have good luck

Elisa
Gold Member
Posts: 312
Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2011 7:13 pm
Status: English Learner

Re: WE

Postby Elisa » Wed Oct 19, 2011 12:04 am

thanks, you are very sweet.

User avatar
Lara
Gold Member
Posts: 181
Joined: Mon Aug 01, 2011 1:57 pm
Status: English Learner
Location: http://my.englishclub.com/profile/Lara07
Contact:

Re: WE

Postby Lara » Wed Oct 19, 2011 3:01 am

Elisa wrote:I met you
Your eyes,
My eyes.
Your breath,
My breath
Your smile,
My smile.

No words.

Our breath.


Hello Eli, how r u??? :-D
It seems when u met him u couldnt say any word, am i right??
hope u be well c u

Elisa
Gold Member
Posts: 312
Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2011 7:13 pm
Status: English Learner

Re: WE

Postby Elisa » Wed Oct 19, 2011 2:11 pm

I am very, very fine and you?

I think love doesn't need many words.
when we are really in love we cannot speak and we look like a stupid, silly girl!!!:)

User avatar
Lara
Gold Member
Posts: 181
Joined: Mon Aug 01, 2011 1:57 pm
Status: English Learner
Location: http://my.englishclub.com/profile/Lara07
Contact:

Re: WE

Postby Lara » Wed Oct 19, 2011 2:17 pm

:D yes u r right, it's better not to talk to not to say silly words :lol:

User avatar
shakespear
Platinum Member
Posts: 830
Joined: Tue Jan 09, 2007 12:02 pm
Status: English Teacher
Location: IRAQ
Contact:

Re: WE

Postby shakespear » Sat Nov 12, 2011 8:52 am

Elisa wrote:I think love doesn't need many words.


that's r8...
when we meet our beloved we have astonishment ....and looking at the eyes is sweeter than saying words...looking while our breath r met also

its lovely expression
plz try again its expressing poem.....move one to the place of event...
regards

Elisa
Gold Member
Posts: 312
Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2011 7:13 pm
Status: English Learner

Re: WE

Postby Elisa » Sat Nov 12, 2011 5:01 pm

Shak. I cannot speak well English and I don't understand the meaning of these words:"move on to the place of event".
Ciao

User avatar
shakespear
Platinum Member
Posts: 830
Joined: Tue Jan 09, 2007 12:02 pm
Status: English Teacher
Location: IRAQ
Contact:

Re: WE

Postby shakespear » Sun Nov 20, 2011 12:44 am

hello elisa
i meant move one...move us ...move me to the place of event...that means ur poem is like a movie we can see the events through this movie...when u say a poem u make us see the events...u move us to the place of event...this is my intention...
have nice moments

Elisa
Gold Member
Posts: 312
Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2011 7:13 pm
Status: English Learner

Re: WE

Postby Elisa » Sun Nov 20, 2011 1:23 pm

Thanks, I will try.
Ciao

Elisa
Gold Member
Posts: 312
Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2011 7:13 pm
Status: English Learner

Re: WE

Postby Elisa » Mon Nov 21, 2011 7:01 pm

WE (2)

No words
No place

Me
You

Everywhere
In my mind
In your eyes

Forever

Never more.


You can free your feelings and give the sense you need.
Am I too hermetic?

User avatar
shakespear
Platinum Member
Posts: 830
Joined: Tue Jan 09, 2007 12:02 pm
Status: English Teacher
Location: IRAQ
Contact:

Re: WE

Postby shakespear » Sat Nov 26, 2011 3:40 am

hi
u wana make the imgination free for us and we can imgaine wtever we want...u r like painter who puts just little on the picture and lets the seers imagine the rest of the picture...any way its good idea to release our minds into the deserts of soul...
have good luck
c u

Elisa
Gold Member
Posts: 312
Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2011 7:13 pm
Status: English Learner

Re: WE

Postby Elisa » Sat Nov 26, 2011 7:56 am

Thanks for your comment Shak. I liked your comparison of my poem with a minimalist painting.
When I write I don't think, I just do it and this is the result.

To be hermetic is not a choice but a status.
Ciao.

User avatar
shakespear
Platinum Member
Posts: 830
Joined: Tue Jan 09, 2007 12:02 pm
Status: English Teacher
Location: IRAQ
Contact:

Re: WE

Postby shakespear » Sun Nov 27, 2011 7:29 am

hi
u r welcome
i wish u can write long poem with rhyme.... i wana u just try and if u can't its ok...ur short lines r good too
have nice times


Return to “Creative Writing”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 7 guests