WE

[Elisa]

I met you
Your eyes,
My eyes.
Your breath,
My breath
Your smile,
My smile.

No words.

Our breath.

[Elisa]

Please, read it very slowly. Thanks

[sweets]

helllllllo
inspite of writing short lines but they are carrying much powerful meanings beside your short poem force me to imagen what might happen ..............

nice try keep on

[shakespear]

hello
i'll say like the say of sweets its short...but rain always starts with one drop then falls heavily and may not stop for days...and volcano also starts with smoke then busrsts out and won't stop...
so i think u'll rain this club with lovely words heavily and won't stop...at least i hope that...
plz go ahead and dont stop koz ur words hold high emotions and lovely meanings inside
have good luck

[Elisa]

thanks, you are very sweet.

[Lara]

I met you
Your eyes,
My eyes.
Your breath,
My breath
Your smile,
My smile.

No words.

Our breath.

Hello Eli, how r u???
It seems when u met him u couldnt say any word, am i right??
hope u be well c u

[Elisa]

I am very, very fine and you?

I think love doesn't need many words.
when we are really in love we cannot speak and we look like a stupid, silly girl!!!:)

[Lara]

:D yes u r right, it's better not to talk to not to say silly words

[shakespear]

I think love doesn't need many words.

that's r8...
when we meet our beloved we have astonishment ....and looking at the eyes is sweeter than saying words...looking while our breath r met also

its lovely expression
plz try again its expressing poem.....move one to the place of event...
regards

[Elisa]

Shak. I cannot speak well English and I don't understand the meaning of these words:"move on to the place of event".
Ciao

[shakespear]

hello elisa
i meant move one...move us ...move me to the place of event...that means ur poem is like a movie we can see the events through this movie...when u say a poem u make us see the events...u move us to the place of event...this is my intention...
have nice moments

[Elisa]

Thanks, I will try.
Ciao

[Elisa]

WE (2)

No words
No place

Me
You

Everywhere
In my mind
In your eyes

Forever

Never more.


You can free your feelings and give the sense you need.
Am I too hermetic?

[shakespear]

hi
u wana make the imgination free for us and we can imgaine wtever we want...u r like painter who puts just little on the picture and lets the seers imagine the rest of the picture...any way its good idea to release our minds into the deserts of soul...
have good luck
c u

[Elisa]

Thanks for your comment Shak. I liked your comparison of my poem with a minimalist painting.
When I write I don't think, I just do it and this is the result.

To be hermetic is not a choice but a status.
Ciao.

[shakespear]

hi
u r welcome
i wish u can write long poem with rhyme.... i wana u just try and if u can't its ok...ur short lines r good too
have nice times