ESL Forums

Elisa · Post by **Elisa** » Tue Oct 18, 2011 6:08 pm

I met you
Your eyes,
My eyes.
Your breath,
My breath
Your smile,
My smile.

No words.

Our breath.

Elisa · Post by **Elisa** » Tue Oct 18, 2011 6:10 pm

Please, read it very slowly. Thanks

sweets · Post by **sweets** » Tue Oct 18, 2011 7:17 pm

helllllllo
inspite of writing short lines but they are carrying much powerful meanings beside your short poem force me to imagen what might happen ..............

nice try keep on

shakespear · Post by **shakespear** » Tue Oct 18, 2011 10:46 pm

hello
i'll say like the say of sweets its short...but rain always starts with one drop then falls heavily and may not stop for days...and volcano also starts with smoke then busrsts out and won't stop...
so i think u'll rain this club with lovely words heavily and won't stop...at least i hope that...
plz go ahead and dont stop koz ur words hold high emotions and lovely meanings inside
have good luck

Elisa · Post by **Elisa** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 12:04 am

thanks, you are very sweet.

Lara · Post by **Lara** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 3:01 am

Elisa wrote:I met you
Your eyes,
My eyes.
Your breath,
My breath
Your smile,
My smile.

No words.

Our breath.

Hello Eli, how r u???
It seems when u met him u couldnt say any word, am i right??
hope u be well c u

Elisa · Post by **Elisa** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 2:11 pm

I am very, very fine and you?

I think love doesn't need many words.
when we are really in love we cannot speak and we look like a stupid, silly girl!!!:)

Lara · Post by **Lara** » Wed Oct 19, 2011 2:17 pm

:D yes u r right, it's better not to talk to not to say silly words

shakespear · Post by **shakespear** » Sat Nov 12, 2011 8:52 am

Elisa wrote:I think love doesn't need many words.

that's r8...
when we meet our beloved we have astonishment ....and looking at the eyes is sweeter than saying words...looking while our breath r met also

its lovely expression
plz try again its expressing poem.....move one to the place of event...
regards

Elisa · Post by **Elisa** » Sat Nov 12, 2011 5:01 pm

Shak. I cannot speak well English and I don't understand the meaning of these words:"move on to the place of event".
Ciao

shakespear · Post by **shakespear** » Sun Nov 20, 2011 12:44 am

hello elisa
i meant move one...move us ...move me to the place of event...that means ur poem is like a movie we can see the events through this movie...when u say a poem u make us see the events...u move us to the place of event...this is my intention...
have nice moments

Elisa · Post by **Elisa** » Sun Nov 20, 2011 1:23 pm

Thanks, I will try.
Ciao

Elisa · Post by **Elisa** » Mon Nov 21, 2011 7:01 pm

WE (2)

No words
No place

Me
You

Everywhere
In my mind
In your eyes

Forever

Never more.

You can free your feelings and give the sense you need.
Am I too hermetic?

shakespear · Post by **shakespear** » Sat Nov 26, 2011 3:40 am

hi
u wana make the imgination free for us and we can imgaine wtever we want...u r like painter who puts just little on the picture and lets the seers imagine the rest of the picture...any way its good idea to release our minds into the deserts of soul...
have good luck
c u

Elisa · Post by **Elisa** » Sat Nov 26, 2011 7:56 am

Thanks for your comment Shak. I liked your comparison of my poem with a minimalist painting.
When I write I don't think, I just do it and this is the result.

To be hermetic is not a choice but a status.
Ciao.

shakespear · Post by **shakespear** » Sun Nov 27, 2011 7:29 am

hi
u r welcome
i wish u can write long poem with rhyme.... i wana u just try and if u can't its ok...ur short lines r good too
have nice times

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