for my lyrics

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BadDisciple
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for my lyrics

Post by BadDisciple »

Hail all,

I'm writing lyrics for a song and (being not a native English speaker) I have
sometimes linguistic "bugs'. In the case here, it's the following two expressions:
1. "To see the curve in your lips". The word "curve" doesn't sound to me,
but that's what I want to say - the nice shape, the curve, the bend, the beautiful
curved line of the lips of a nice woman. What word would be best in that case?
2. "To feel the thrill/flutter/vibration/vibe in your breath". Which word would
fit best to describe the vibrating feel of the breathing felt from very close?

Thanks for your feedback.
BD
alawton
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Re: for my lyrics

Post by alawton »

Hello,

I think "curve of your lips" is what you want to say there. For the second one, I'm not sure. You could say "To feel the vibration of your breath." Good luck


Andrew Lawton
http://drewseslfluencylessons.com
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BadDisciple
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Re: for my lyrics

Post by BadDisciple »

Thanks for your feedback.
In fact, I forgot to mention that - as these are the lyrics of a song - I need to
pay attention to the number of syllables and the accents. So, in the case 1
I need a one-syllable word. In case 2 I need a one- or maximum two-syllable
word, so the word "vibrations" doesn't fit, even if it's just what I want to say.
So, a replacement is needed.

Thanks again.
BD
jmio
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Re: for my lyrics

Post by jmio »

I think I would use "curve of" and "thrill". Not everyone is familiar with that definition of thrill, but it works well in a song and I think the meaning is obvious enough in context.

"Flutter" is more often used in expressions about the heart.
"Vibe" doesn't seem natural.
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BadDisciple
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Re: for my lyrics

Post by BadDisciple »

Hello and great thanks for your feedback!
(With big latency, as it took me time till I undertake work on that song again.)
I'll will use your advices for "curve of" and "thrill" they sound good to me and I like them.
Best vibes !
Bad Disciple
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