hello
i have these vocabulary words:
ominous
confound .
miserable
gracious
beams
self-assurance
monitor
exposed .
installed
looming
My son has wrote this simple paragraph using the vocab words .
My friend and I were building a sandcastle on the beach. There was a dark cloud looming over us, which looked quite ominous. I did not bring my umbrella and I will be quite miserable if I get wet.
My friend told me not to worry at all with his self – assurance; I have a new invention which I created to avoid you from getting wet and installed small wipers with it. If you become exposed to the water, it will open automatically as an umbrella and you will stay dry. You can monitor it by a remote. This invention was confounding me, and was trying to be gracious.
is the above ok? does it need any correction?
is it correct?
Moderator: EC
-
noorabah
- Member
- Posts: 1
- Joined: Sun Nov 22, 2015 4:49 am
- Status: Learner of English
-
knowable
- Member
- Posts: 41
- Joined: Thu Feb 18, 2016 5:31 pm
- Status: Teacher of English
Re: is it correct?
My friend and I were building a castle on the beach one afternoon. A dark cloud loomed in the distance, but it was looking ominous with each passing minute. I began to worry for I had not brought my umbrella with me.
“I am going to be quite miserable if it starts raining,” I said to my friend.
“Do not worry,” my friend said to me. “We are not going to get wet,” he said.
“I don’t see how are we not going to get wet if starts raining,” I said. “Did you bring your umbrella?”
“No. But trust me, I came prepared,” he said with such self-assurance I wondered what he was talking about.
He opened his rucksack and brought out an object I could not make out what it was.
He set it down between us.
“Voila! Say hello to my new invention,” he said beaming at me.
“What is this?” I asked, confounded.
“This is the thing that is going to protect us in the rain.”
I stared at the round shaped object.
“I will tell you how it works,” he said, and explained how on sensing the first drops of rain the thing automatically opens up like an umbrella.
“It opens up just like that?” I asked.
“Yes just like that. It has a built-in sensor. I have also installed little wipers and can monitor the whole thing from my phone.”
He took out his phone and showed me the app he had created for adjusting the height, checking the wipers were in working order, or for reporting any faults.
“You will see it in full works if it starts raining,” he said.
“Wow,” I exclaimed, trying to be gracious though I was not sure if the whole thing was for real.
“I am going to be quite miserable if it starts raining,” I said to my friend.
“Do not worry,” my friend said to me. “We are not going to get wet,” he said.
“I don’t see how are we not going to get wet if starts raining,” I said. “Did you bring your umbrella?”
“No. But trust me, I came prepared,” he said with such self-assurance I wondered what he was talking about.
He opened his rucksack and brought out an object I could not make out what it was.
He set it down between us.
“Voila! Say hello to my new invention,” he said beaming at me.
“What is this?” I asked, confounded.
“This is the thing that is going to protect us in the rain.”
I stared at the round shaped object.
“I will tell you how it works,” he said, and explained how on sensing the first drops of rain the thing automatically opens up like an umbrella.
“It opens up just like that?” I asked.
“Yes just like that. It has a built-in sensor. I have also installed little wipers and can monitor the whole thing from my phone.”
He took out his phone and showed me the app he had created for adjusting the height, checking the wipers were in working order, or for reporting any faults.
“You will see it in full works if it starts raining,” he said.
“Wow,” I exclaimed, trying to be gracious though I was not sure if the whole thing was for real.