Self Confidence for Speaking English?

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ZugzwangKG
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Self Confidence for Speaking English?

Post by ZugzwangKG » Sat Nov 17, 2018 2:20 am

Hello, my wife's primary language is Korean, and she is having trouble with her confidence in speaking English. She has been living in America for a number of years now, having come here to learn English. My family, her extended family living here, myself, and everyone else who is close to her thinks she speaks English very well. However, she lacks confidence in speaking, and will clam up in front of strangers who speak English.

Does anybody have advice on things that we can do to help her with her confidence, so that she can feel more open about speaking English? Thank you!

jonathanrace
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Re: Self Confidence for Speaking English?

Post by jonathanrace » Sat Nov 17, 2018 9:35 am

Try language exchange apps. She'll be able to practise with strangers where it doesn't matter if she makes mistakes or not.

More input, more input, more input. The more she hears words and sentences being said then the more it will feel "right" when she wants to use them herself.
I can help you Learn English

theway
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Re: Self Confidence for Speaking English?

Post by theway » Fri Nov 23, 2018 6:54 am

Hello...

I assume you mean she feels a lack of confidence in engaging in conversation, and not that she is generally; a more reserved personality.

In that scenario....I have a completely different pedagogy than 'memorizing English'.
That is to say; that I do not believe memorizing English is learning English or the correct pathway to learning English.

So, although testing and exchanging English with a stranger is something good... to me it extends the failed-method of memorizing English; which I see as the wrong pathway to confidence. And, the wrong pathway to learn cognitive-English.

Saying what you already know is easy for everyone. (So, it is not a practice to say what you know over-and-over to a stranger or anyone, which will bring her confidence).

Confidence (I think) in this case is "knowing"... by understanding English. So input of information is needed to build confidence... not sharing the output of what someone already knows.

Again, I am referring to someone with a lack of English-ability; which is keeping here from conversations, and not a quiet personality just being itself.

So understanding that sentences are made of 'information' which is ordered for the clarity of exchanging ideas (writing sentences or speaking), allows people to engage in conversation with confidence.

I am sorry, but I cannot provide this kind of lesson here-in. Look for sentence-construction lessons based on the logical idea and placement of ideas (information), in sentences; not grammatically tedious lessons. Grammatical lessons are simply confusing and will make learning conversation come to a halt.

So, the best I can suggest here is using her eyes to learn and not her ears.(I.e. talking with a stranger might help a psychological problem of shyness, but it does not work for learning to communicate in the English language; nor will it build confidence).

I would select 'reading a book of interest; written in English' as a much better and faster way of absorbing ideas, vocabulary, and sentence structure. Reading out-loud ... of course.

Good readers make good speakers... when they practice reading while speaking out-loud.
Maybe you both can read together (out-loud), before you go to sleep at night.... that would be an active thing for you to do to help.

Cheers!
: )
Robert

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Re: Self Confidence for Speaking English?

Post by NativeHK » Mon Jan 07, 2019 7:01 am

I would recommend she uses an online language exchange to gain confidence or perhaps could be a good idea to try find other Koreans who speak English in the area to language exchange with.

Whitenights
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Re: Self Confidence for Speaking English?

Post by Whitenights » Tue Jan 08, 2019 9:53 am

Hi.
This is my first post on this forum and your wife's problem is the exact reason due to, I joined to english club. Even, writting here make me feel uncomfortable! Anyway, I'm Asian too and I've been living in US with my husband for almost two years but I couldn't come up with this huuugeee problem. I completely understand her. Back then both of us had masters degree and gratuated from the same university and he got admitted for a PhD. It felt terrible when I've got nothing to say or when I was trying to speak, the simplest words and structures came to my mind and even though, I used them incorrectly. It was so sad :(
I had so many ideas and I had plan to apply for phd too, but when it came to speak or write I found my mind totally empty. You know what it hurts much? Making mistakes infront of the others made me feel they may think I'm not smart and profound. Maybe that's because I was always higher than average in every aspects of my educational life and using the english language was my only problem (and stel it is). Maybe your wife is a perfectionist as much as I am and she doesn't want people to see her flaws.
I just wrote here to tell you please try to understand her better and help her. That may seems to others a small problem but actually it's not!

justinhorn
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Re: Self Confidence for Speaking English?

Post by justinhorn » Tue Jan 08, 2019 11:49 am

I would recommend for her to speak more with friends and some family members. After some time her confidence will increase and she won't feel anxious when speaking to some strangers on the street or somewhere else.

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