Please help! Is my introduction correct?

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engmanbie
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Joined: Fri Jan 10, 2020 12:36 pm
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Please help! Is my introduction correct?

Post by engmanbie » Fri Jan 10, 2020 12:44 pm

Hello,

First of all, BIG THANKS to the admins and all the volunteers of this amazing community!

Can you guys please help me check if the wordings of my introduction is correct and maybe suggestions on how to make it better. :)

"Here are the 58 best Bible verses about the Holy Spirit from the Old and New Testaments of the Holy Bible, King James Version (KJV), sorted from the most relevant to the least relevant bible verses."

Screenshot: http://prntscr.com/ql37z1

I'm trying to create a list of Bible passages about the Holy Spirit using the King James Version of the Holy Bible and make it a PDF.

I just want to make sure that my grammar in the intro is correct including which should be capitalized.

Thanks a lot!

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Joe
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Re: Please help! Is my introduction correct?

Post by Joe » Fri Jan 10, 2020 10:43 pm

engmanbie wrote:
Fri Jan 10, 2020 12:44 pm
Hello,

First of all, BIG THANKS to the admins and all the volunteers of this amazing community!

Can you guys please help me check if the wordings of my introduction is correct and maybe suggestions on how to make it better. :)

"Here are the 58 best Bible verses about the Holy Spirit from the Old and New Testaments of the Holy Bible, King James Version (KJV), sorted from the most relevant to the least relevant bible verses."

Screenshot: http://prntscr.com/ql37z1

I'm trying to create a list of Bible passages about the Holy Spirit using the King James Version of the Holy Bible and make it a PDF.

I just want to make sure that my grammar in the intro is correct including which should be capitalized.

Thanks a lot!
Thanks for the opportunity to answer.

Your wording is grammatical. My only quibble would be the repetition of "bible verses" at the end. I would prefer:

"Here are the 58 best Bible verses about the Holy Spirit from the Old and New Testaments of the Holy Bible, King James Version (KJV), sorted from the most relevant to the least relevant."

or better still delete KJV (meaningless repetition):

"Here are the 58 best Bible verses about the Holy Spirit from the Old and New Testaments of the Holy Bible, King James Version, sorted from the most relevant to the least relevant."

OR even more idiomatic

"Here are the 58 best Bible verses about the Holy Spirit from the Old and New Testaments of the Holy Bible (King James Version) sorted from most to least relevant."
"We are not wholly bad or good, who live our lives under Milk Wood :-| " — Dylan Thomas, Under Milk Wood

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engmanbie
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Posts: 2
Joined: Fri Jan 10, 2020 12:36 pm
Status: Learner of English

Re: Please help! Is my introduction correct?

Post by engmanbie » Sat Jan 11, 2020 12:27 pm

Thanks, Joe!

I really appreciate your help! :)

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