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Nobody can be happy by trying to find happiness.

Monthly topics for discussion

Moderator: TalkingPoint

Postby Valery » Sun Apr 29, 2007 7:46 am

In fact,Happiness is a journey.U couldn't find it out.but you can feel it.
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Postby kpchoo » Wed May 02, 2007 9:25 am

What is the point to seek for happiness when sadness is bound to come? Everyone's life is repeating the same thing, cant ppl see that this kind of repeating life is meaningless?

I wonder how long will it take for human being to grow beyond happiness and sadness. Maybe human are just too afraid to step into unknown, hence history keep repeating itself.
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Re: I think,

Postby Ees » Sat May 12, 2007 12:09 pm

I agree with that the happiness exists in our minds. I believe so too and that is why I believe also that it is possible to be happy at anytime, anywhere or in any situation. Of course it is not easy or often, but I think it is possible. It just needs some work.

I see there is two kind of happiness. The first one is passionate happiness, that is found by outside. If something really good happens then the happiness we feel is passionate happiness. But that is not everlasting happiness. If the good thing that made someone happy is suddenly gone, then the happiness is gone also. In the passionate happiness, if something good happens, we feel enormous happiness, but if something bad happens, we feel enormous sadness. It is like the wind. First it asks something good and after that it loves the world outside.

The second kind of happiness is an attitude, calm happiness. That comes from inside of us, from our mind. That comes if somebody loves that he has, loves the chance to love etc. If somebody feels that kind of happiness, there is no need to something fantastic to happen. In calm happiness we are glad of the good things that happens, but if something bad happens, we do not lose the happiness. It is that what gives the strenght to us to face the bad things and it is our attitude that reminds us that there is always something to be glad of. Then we are happy for the hardship, because we have an opportunity to learn something from that. In calm happiness there is first the love from inside of us and then comes other things.

Passionate happiness: "I love just because I am happy."
Calm happiness: "I am happy just because I love."

Passionate happiness: "I am everything. If you have me, you can see only me and you are in heaven. But if you don't have me, you see only the loss of me and you suffer."
Calm happiness: "You don't have to look at me. You look with me, I am your attitude. You can watch the outside world in peace with me."

If you seek passionate happiness, you maybe want to be always richer, more beautiful or you wannt to have more lovers, fame or honour. Then you ask for things.
If you seek calm happiness, all you need is your love. You don't have to be anything more. Then you can give.

Finding happiness depends wholly on that what you ask to be happy.

This is how I see happiness, but of course this is only one way to see it.
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happiness

Postby Bambang » Sun May 13, 2007 4:07 pm

Hi Valery.

I'd like to comment your opinion on happiness.
You said that we cant find it. I am not with you on this matter. Happiness is something that we can find. A small example is when we can make somebody happy, we'll usually be happy too. We can be happy by making somebody or others happy. And to do it, we've got to learn the way.

I know that happiness is subjective. But it is real. We can feel it. And to get that feeling, process is needed. Struggle is needed. To make it simpler. I'll give you one example. Here it is:

One day a daughter wanted to make her mom happy in her mom's b'day. Then she wrote a song for her mom. She sang the song beautifully on her mom's b'day. She did her best. Then she kissed her mom and gave a hug and said "Mom, thank you for everything you have done to me. I really appreciate it. I am proud to be your daughter. You are the best mom in this world". She said that sincerely. And she cried while kissing and hugging her mom. Her mom was impressed and cried too. The girl recalled her dad who had passed away. Her mom did it too. Even though they were crying, they were very happy on that day. And of course that happiness didn't come from nowhere. It happened because the daughter had fought to make her mom happy. He thought hard to write an impressing song just for her mom. She fought for that and then she got it.

So, Valery. My point is do not wait the happiness comes to you. instead, pls fight for it. Go for it.
Find it.

Thanks Valery. Keep in touch. :)

Sincerely,
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Postby fayehfy » Tue May 15, 2007 9:24 am

But the problem is what is your definition for " Happiness"? Someone is easily satisfied but others not.
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Postby fayehfy » Tue May 15, 2007 9:25 am

But the problem is what is your definition for " Happiness"? Someone is easily satisfied but others not.
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Postby Chet Baker » Wed May 16, 2007 4:36 am

This is a very difficult question to answer. In my experience, if you intend to find something trying to make you feel happy, you will fail.

Sometime, when your expectation is too positive, such expectation will only barricade your eyes, then you can't turely see what's happening, you will not be able to accept something below your expectation as the result. Then, you will feel unhappy.

So, where is true happiness:?:
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Re: Nobody can be happy by trying to find happiness.

Postby awuyhoho » Tue Jun 05, 2007 2:18 pm

TalkingPoint wrote:Nobody can be happy by trying to find happiness.
Is it possible to find happiness if you look for it?
Is it an impossible dream? Is it selfishness that will end in failure? Or is it the right of every human being?

Is it possible to find happiness if you look for it?---yes
I'm trying very hard to find it
and I found if I really did find it
it was easily found
e.g: I was very tired back from working very night
my mother waited me till I was back
and a cup of coffee was for me :)
I felt very happy at that time
many times I listen my favorite music I feel happy
after a delicious meal I feel happy
If I finish the work I feel happy
If I pass the exam I feel happy
When I saw the pictures of TVXQ(my favorite pop star) I feel happy
...
lots of things to make our lives happy

p.s:aren't you happy ?
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Postby Heidi » Tue Jun 05, 2007 4:09 pm

Without pain,noone gains happiness.
As usual,a workaholic,getting up at the dawn , working just for $200 a week,neverthless, 1 minute late mistaken by his wristwatch,he was fired unwillingly.A schoolboy,reading more reference book, all day without goout,from morning until night, just for passing exam, but was doomed to failure.Or, a 17-year-old girl, depositing tons and tons of money, however, was cheated by her beloved boyfriend, as a result,all her wish such as accomplishment of her schooling or marriage with her "kind" boyfriend,desperately all gone with the wind.Unforturnetly?the answer maybe not necessarily. because nexttime the workaholic will not be blamed for lacking of punctuality,he has learned to adjust his timing;the schoolgirl also gained to arrange and categorize the materials which is helpful for the test and instead, avoiding roaming enormous time consuming at her study;Finally,the clever little women would say farewell to her ignorance and innocence,this means she has become
mature--a real woman with a cute insight facing the cruel and indifferent world.So,can we see that---- from the pain,you gain the happy?
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Postby Bambang » Sat Jun 30, 2007 4:51 pm

fayehfy wrote:But the problem is what is your definition for " Happiness"? Someone is easily satisfied but others not.


My friend, you don't need to think hard on the definition on "happiness". When we are happy we know what the happiness is. Just find it and feel it !!!

Certainly, happiness is subjective. Something can make somebody happy but not the others. Or even it may make somebody very unhappy.


awuyhoho wrote:lots of things to make our lives happy .


See !!!
You yourself said that we can find happiness. So just go find it, feel it and enjoy it buddy !!!

chet baker wrote:This is a very difficult question to answer. In my experience, if you intend to find something trying to make you feel happy, you will fail. .


Fail !!! Fail !!!!
No way my friend.
If you are really serious in finding the happiness then you'll get it. Believe me my friend. You'll get it. Just follow the example I have posted on May 13 ( two posts) after yours. You'll get it my dear friend.


kathfap wrote:The happiness exists in our minds...

I think that the happiness is subjective and changeable. Nowadays you can be happy with something or someone and tomorrow not more.


We are in line on this my friend. happines really exists. It's also subjective. Again, I agree with you. Happiness is changable ? Again, again, I am with you on this.

But my friend, just because it is changable, doesn't mean it will make us pesimistic to get it. Just go get it with all heart. Are you with me on this my dear friend?

I just wanna say something to all members that life is a cycle. Sometimes we are happy and sometimes sad. That's normal. That's the essence of life. Nobody in this world that is happy all the time. And similarly, nobody in this planet that is sad all the time. All we have to do is to increase the amount of our happiness and at the same time decrease our amount of sadness. :wink: :) :D
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