Hello all,
I am NOT a native English speaker. I learned and speak English from very long time.
I write lyrics for songs which some times I try to make a kind of poetic. Here I have
a question about one phrase which I can't feel the best way to put it in. I've imagined
two versions of it:
1. You and I know that perfect is no one.
2. You and I know that no perfect one exists.
I know that the first reaction will be to suggest "You and I know that no one is perfect".
But for purposes of matching phonetic accents with music accents, it doesn't
fit with the music. So, musically seen, I prefer to have it in the first way.
Also, I need the phrase "You and I know that..." to stay intact.
A native English speaking friend of mine says the first one is too old fashioned.
To cross opinions, I need more advices, that's why I came in this forum.
My question is, could I keep the first version as a "poetic" phrase, even if old fashioned?
Or, if it sounds too odd, does the second version sound well then?
Thanks for your feedback.
Best vibes.
BD
Help for an "odd" phrase
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- BadDisciple
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Re: Help for an "odd" phrase
I would say "probably yes". It would depend, as always, on the context (in this case the actual words, the style of wording and the music), but in general I think it could work, probably better than the second.BadDisciple wrote:could I keep the first version as a "poetic" phrase, even if old fashioned?
But that's only my opinion
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Re: Help for an "odd" phrase
You and I know that perfect is no one.BadDisciple wrote:Hello all,
I am NOT a native English speaker. I've learned and speak English (from) for a very long time.
I write lyrics for songs which I try to make a bit poetic. Here I have a question about a phrase for which I can't feel the best way to put it in. I've imagined
two versions of it:
1. You and I know that perfect is no one.
2. You and I know that no perfect one exists.
I know that the first reaction will be to suggest "You and I know that no one is perfect".
But for purposes of matching phonetic accents with music accents, it doesn't
fit with the music. So, musically seen, I prefer to have it in the first way.
Also, I need the phrase "You and I know that..." to stay intact.
A native-English-speaking friend of mine says the first one is too old-fashioned.
To cross opinions, I need more advices, that's why I came in this forum.
My question is, could I keep the first version as a "poetic" phrase, even if old-fashioned?
Or, if it sounds too odd, does the second version sound well then?
Thanks for your feedback.
Best vibes.
BD
No one is perfect.
Perfect, no one is.
Perfect? Is any one?
Perfect? Any one?
Perfect? No one.
You and I know. Perfect? Any one?
You and I know. Perfect? No one!
Could this work for your lyrics?