EnglishClub
Home Learn English Teach English MyEnglishClub Home Learn English Teach English MyEnglishClub

Please note that these ESL Forums are NOT part of MyEnglishClub. To post at these ESL Forums please register ↑ first.

Please proofread my text (well structured and understandable

From academic writing to resumes and cover letters

Moderator: EC

Please proofread my text (well structured and understandable

Postby DreamHigh » Tue Jan 17, 2012 4:52 pm

Can someone please proofread my text if it is well structured and understandable ;-)

Online shopping versus Conventional shopping

In today’s rather strained economy, most people are trying to save money wherever possible. Consequently, people are now searching for the great bargain. The trick is knowing when and where to purchase. Moreover, in order to get your best deals, you will need to know where you can do comparison.
Internet is a platform where you easily accomplish comparison. If you want to save even more, you can sign up for the store’s mailing list, and use any coupons they may send you. Whereas in earlier times by shopping meant getting ready, going out to the local mall, trampling the high streets, facing the terrible crowds and going through a million aisles looking aimlessly for that one product these days internet shopping can be done from the comfort of your own home with just one click.
Online shopping is a convenient way of shopping, which many people enjoy the benefits it provides. It is an easy way to shop around and can be a great time saver. If you are interested in reading product reviews, getting the latest fashion updates, then the internet is an efficient podium. You can even discuss on the site about your impending purchase and get feedback from others whether the product is worth to buy or not. The Internet offers a wide choice to buyers as well as the different tastes and different attractive offers. In addition, the products come to you direct from the manufacturer or seller without middlemen involved which not only leads you to get cheap deals and better prices but also getting discounts that are given by the company. Furthermore, you can have advantage of buying things online that can’t be found in your area or the goods you find can be expensive in your location. As a result of internet you can purchase anywhere in the world and search endlessly for the best price for an item. And perhaps best of all, you don’t have to put up with poor customer service, queuing or jostling in stores and you can shop on your own time, not the stores’ shopping hours. And also the best part about shopping online is the fact that you get the things you want delivered right to you. If it's big, you don't have to worry about shoving in the trunk and hoping that it won't fall onto the road. True, you have to pay a shipping fee, but that's just a nominal charge.

On the other side most people are reluctant to internet shopping because of several fears and uncertainties. These fears and uncertainties include the inability to feel or try on clothes or the ease of use before buying it. Furthermore, the benefits from the immediacy of collecting the item at time of purchase which are the core benefits of buying in-store will be prevented due to internet shopping. An argument also could be made that shoppers have more fun by going to the mall with their friends, trying on clothes, testing products and getting opinions. To a large extent buying on internet you are basing a decision on a picture of the article and the information the website provides. There are also “bidding for products” websites, such as Ebay, where you can find items being sold by individuals where you aren’t guaranteed whether a description of a product is right or not. A dangerous thing about internet is the fact that there are also a number of reasons that people can be put off internet shopping like identity theft, transaction security, and privacy. The greatest pain of online shopping could be also the shipping process and its related shipping price and aggravating return policy through online shopping. It can be daunting to wait for five to seven business days. And even if you pay additional charges to have the product be shipped express, it doesn’t necessarily guarantee that the item will arrive when it says it will. Worst of all it can be if you get an article which you didn’t order at the first place; this will mean sending the product back for a replacement of returning.

All in all, I would say apart from these problems online shopping could be safer and more enjoyable if you follow a few precautions. For example if you buy items from Ebay, then make sure that the private seller has plenty of good feedback. Nowadays, the inability to feel the product or try on clothes is somewhat depleted with a tool called “My Virtual Model Inc”, which virtually allows online shoppers to try on clothes prior to purchase. Consumers can reduce the risk of identity theft and transaction insecurity by simply buying products from trusted retailers. The reputable companies also use encrypted systems that are designed to keep your privacy safe. The only thing I would not consider buying online is grocery products because of the short dated and reduced fresh food items.
DreamHigh
New Member
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2012 4:38 pm
Status: English Learner

Re: Please proofread my text (well structured and understand

Postby JCloninger » Sun Feb 26, 2012 11:42 pm

My corrections are in [brackets]:

Online [S]hopping versus Conventional [S]hopping

In today’s rather strained economy, most people are trying to save money wherever possible. Consequently, people are now searching for the [best] bargain. The trick is knowing when and where to purchase. Moreover, in order to get [the] best deals, you will need to know where you can do comparison.
[The] Internet is a platform where you easily accomplish comparison[s]. If you want to save even more, you can sign up for the store’s mailing list, and use any coupons they may send you[,] [w]hereas[,] in earlier times shopping meant getting ready, going out to the local mall, trampling the high streets[I assume you are using Br. English here, otherwise change to "the main streets"], facing terrible crowds and going through a million aisles looking aimlessly for that one product[.] [T]hese days[,] internet shopping can be done from the comfort of your own home with just one click.
Online shopping is a convenient way of shopping, [in] which many people enjoy the benefits it provides. It is an easy way to shop around[,] and can be a great time saver. If you are interested in reading product reviews [or] getting the latest fashion updates, then the Internet is an efficient [medium]. You can even discuss on the site about your impending purchase and get feedback from others whether the product is worth [buying] or not. The Internet offers a wide choice to buyers as well as different tastes and different attractive offers. In addition, the products come to you direct[ly] from the manufacturer or seller without middle[-]men involved[,] which not only leads you to cheap deals and better prices, but also getting discounts that are given by the company. Furthermore, you can have [the] advantage of buying things online that can’t be found in your area, or are expensive in your location. As a result of the Internet, you can purchase [from] anywhere in the world and search endlessly for the best price for an item. Perhaps best of all, you don’t have to put up with poor customer service, queuing["standing in line" in Amer. English] or jostling in stores and you can shop on your own time, not the store[']s shopping hours, [not to mention] the fact that you get the things you want delivered right to you. If it's big, you don't have to worry about shoving in the trunk["boot" if you are using Br.English] and hoping that it won't fall onto the road. True, you have to pay a shipping fee, but that's just a nominal charge.

On the other side most people are reluctant to [do] Internet shopping because of several fears and uncertainties. These include the inability to feel or try on clothes or the ease of use before buying it. Furthermore, the benefits from the immediacy of collecting the item at time of purchase (which are the core benefits of buying in-store) will be prevented due to Internet shopping. An argument also could be made that shoppers have more fun by going to the mall with their friends, trying on clothes, testing products and getting opinions. To a large extent[, by] buying on the Internet[,] you are basing a decision on a picture of the article and the information the website provides. There are also [auction] websites, such as Ebay, where you can find items being sold by individuals where you aren’t guaranteed whether a description of a product is right or not. A dangerous thing about [the I]nternet is the fact that there are also a number of reasons that people can be put off Internet shopping like identity theft, transaction security, and privacy. The greatest pain of online shopping could be also the shipping process and its related shipping price and aggravating return policy. It can be daunting to wait for five to seven business days. And even if you pay additional charges to have the product be shipped express, it doesn’t necessarily guarantee that the item will arrive when it says it will. Worst of all[,] if you get an article which you didn’t order [in] the first place[,] this will mean sending the product back for a replacement [or a refund].

All in all, I would say[,] apart from these problems[,] online shopping could be safer and more enjoyable if you follow a few precautions. For example[,] if you buy items from Ebay, then make sure that the private seller has plenty of good feedback. Nowadays, the inability to feel the product or try on clothes is somewhat depleted with a tool called “My Virtual Model Inc[.]”, which allows online shoppers to [virtually] try on clothes prior to purchase. Consumers can reduce the risk of identity theft and transaction insecurity by simply buying products from trusted retailers. The reputable companies also use encrypted systems that are designed to keep your privacy safe. The only thing I would not consider buying online is grocery products because of the short dated and reduced fresh food items.
JCloninger
Member
 
Posts: 14
Joined: Sun Feb 26, 2012 10:36 pm
Status: English Teacher


Return to Writing Help

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests